Puns in the Bushes

Letter from Irving Bennett

Politics – August 2003 – Colorado Central Magazine

Dear Martha and Ed,

I have enjoyed your magazine, especially the parts about water. I have often wondered who really owns the clouds, since they are continuously in motion.

In any event I had considered sending you firewood in lieu of the $20. My son owns a Terradome home of 5+ acres and has much wood to spare.

I have a mule called Laura, who is quite intelligent and on occasion runs errands for me, and it is not necessary for me to accompany her. She does, however, have one nasty habit — she starts Neiling every time she passes a Savings and Loan.

I wanted to plant a couple of Bushes in my backyard. Laura got the two Bushes and instead of bringing them to me, she decided to plant them in an orange grove, but in the process she Jebbed one of her hooves. This, then, became an Owen (rather than an omen). It’s clone (prone) to happen when she tries to plant things on her own.

She then decided to take the Bushes to the Florida Everglades, home of the panther, alligator and other feral (Federal) creatures. Then she came back to Colorado and after such a harrowing experience, I decided to retire her and put her out to pasture. She will now enjoy her remaining years having Lotts of fun enjoying good food, swatting flies, Newts, and other creepy, crawly critters.

Irving Bennett