Letter by Slim Wolfe
Outdoor lighting – July 1999 – Colorado Central Magazine
Don’t blame the Vikings
As proprietor of Scandesign Outhouse Wainscotting (www.Nørpoop.com), I was baffled by your correspondent’s assertion that yardlights obscuring Fort Collins’ night sky are of Scandinavian heritage. In the San Luis Valley, I might pin the blame on Alabamians. But what the heck, they can’t hold Sunday meetin’ if all the vipers get loose on Saturday night, now can they?
Thinking of Nordic roots for megawatts, one arrives at Aurora Borealis (sounds Roman, but really was invented by Odin), or perhaps at vats of Lutefish ripening behind the shed which took on a luminescence. And sure those Lake Woebegone Bachelor farmers could be excused if they had to put the light on when they forgot where they set that can of Oly.
But facts are facts, the light bulb was invented by Edison, not Edisven. Find me a maiden to illuminate my proper trail with a crown of candles, and then you shall have Scandinavian heritage. Otherwise, we’ll soon be blaming the Chinese for chop suey, that Philadelphian invention.
Slym Wolfgebrigtsen Villa Grove