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The Thanksgiving Suggestion List

Brief by Martha Quillen

Humor – November 1999 – Colorado Central Magazine

Here are some things to be thankful for this November 25th that you might not have thought of.

As always we can be thankful that we live in the Colorado Rockies, in a beautiful state, in a democratic nation. But this year we can be even more grateful that we don’t live in New York State where the choice seems to be narrowing down to Hillary Clinton versus Rudolph Giuliani.

Given recent news reports, it seems that the 44 million Americans uncovered by health insurance or HMOs have a little something to be grateful for this year. At least when they get turned down for treatment, they can take heart in the fact that they haven’t paid for it.

Here in Central Colorado — where corporate-level benefits are almost unheard of and where the $5,000+ that the average American family pays annually for an HMO constitutes a huge chunk of the average family’s income — a good many hardworking people might glean a bit of cheer knowing that the medical coverage that they can’t afford is often shockingly inadequate anyway.

We can thank the Colorado Department of Transportation for giving us so few shoulders to drive friendly on.

This Thanksgiving, we suspect that almost everyone will be thankful that election day is over for this year. (But given the number of recall elections in our region, citizens shouldn’t count on a very long reprieve from pandering and politicking).

Obesity has long been cited as an epidemic American problem, with suggested solutions ranging from diet to exercise to lifestyle changes. With that in mind, this year we might extend thanks to the telemarketers who not only get us out of our seats three to five times an evening, but also invariably disrupt our meals.

This year, we can be thankful to the Kansas State Board of Education for passing an impractical and controversial measure before Coloradans could get around to it. Due to their efforts, we have been saved from being designated as both the Hate State and the Ignorance State.

We can thank the Prairie Dogs for making the ultimate sacrifice for our economic development.

We can thank the developers for promoting costly jet ports, four-lanes, golf courses, dams, water diversions, mini-malls, and outlet centers. Without a doubt, their vociferous efforts have played a significant role in why so few of these developments have materialized here.