Renovating My Life

By Susan Tweit

I didn’t intend to renovate my life, revising not just my daily routine, but also my path forward.

After Richard died two days after Thanksgiving, I figured I’d hibernate for several months to recover from helping him live well for as long as he could with brain cancer. I wanted time to hear myself think, to figure out this new and unsought role as Woman Alone.

I thought I’d read, rest, and get started on a new book – or books. Hah.

First there was the celebration of Richard’s life to prepare for. Like anything done with thought and care, it took far more time – especially in the “thinking hours” between two and four a.m. – than I expected. Despite truly horrible weather that day after Winter Solstice, it attracted a huge crowd and turned into a beautifully moving and healing event, a true celebration of his life and our loss.

After that came the scramble to get all the necessary post-death paperwork done before the end of the year. And then the push to get organized for the Terraphilia Artist/Writer Residency Program we’re establishing with Colorado Art Ranch in Richard’s honor.

That entailed taking a long look at his historic studio building and deciding that in addition to a thorough clean-out and reorganization, it needed work. Specifically, addressing the last several years of deferred maintenance and uncompleted renovation.

That meant I needed to learn about construction and repair of historic buildings. I have never claimed to be “Tool Girl.” Far from it. Still, I’m slowly learning how things work, what needs to be done most urgently, and who and how to ask for help. (Heartfelt thanks to all who have responded to those pleas!)

Perhaps because I had unleashed all that renovation energy in Richard’s studio, I decided it was time to renovate my web presence, a project I’d been contemplating for the past year and some.

Six weeks later, with the help of Bill LeRoy, WordPress guru and friend, I had a spiffy new web/site blog combo, and most of the technical problems involved in web design and changing website hosts were resolved. (Bill understands and speaks Geek, talents I do not claim.)

While I was already in over my head on those two renovation projects, I decided it was time to finish renovating my long-out-of-print first book, Pieces of Light, and preparing to reissue it in an ebook edition.

I decided to add an author’s note at the end of each chapter, thoughts on what’s changed in the two decades since the book first hit print. Which of course meant time researching and writing those author’s notes.

None of these renovation projects were in my view when I imagined the quiet months of late-winter hibernation. All this change, this shaking up and sorting out, this moving and stretching and learning new things has pushed me out of such comfort zones as remained in my life after Richard’s death.

I suppose that’s healthy, though some nights in my thinking hours when I lie awake sorting through and attempting to assimilate all of the new information, I wonder. Seriously.

Still, here I am. Woman Alone.

Who finds at the end of another long day of cramming more new stuff into my brain that I thought it could possibly hold, that I’m actually happy. Being me, here in the place I love, renovating my life.

 

Susan J. Tweit is the award-winning author of WALKING NATURE HOME, A LIFE’S JOURNEY, and 11 other books, and can be contacted through her blog & web site, susanjtweit.com