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How to tell where a driver is coming from

Brief by Anonymous

Humor – May 1998 – Colorado Central Magazine

How to Tell Where A Driver is Coming From

One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: New York

One hand on wheel, one finger out window: Chicago

One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston

One hand on wheel, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator: California* *with gun in lap: L.A.

Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Kansas, but driving in Colorado.

Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: Italy

One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on game: Seattle

One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, driving on the shoulder, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both on the brake, throwing a McDonald’s bag out the window: Texas, male

One hand constantly refocusing the rear-view mirror to show different angles of the BIG hair, one hand going between mousse, brush, and rat-tail, both feet on the accelerator, poodle steering the car, chrome .38 revolver with mother of pearl inlaid handle in the glove compartment: Texas, female

One hand on wheel, one hand hanging out the window, keeping speed steadily at 70mph, driving down the center of the road unless coming around a blind curve, in which case they are on the left side of the road: Wyoming

Speeding along in a 4WD pickup or sporty new car, one hand on steering wheel, yelling obscenities, the other hand waving gun out the window and firing repeatedly: Coloradan upon encountering a slow-moving tourist

Pickup truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, squirrel tails attached to antenna: West Virginia

Same truck on blocks minus four wheels: Alabama

Junker, driven by someone who previously had a nice car and who is now wearing a barrel: Las Vegas

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