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Computer Terms: What they mean in the country

Brief by Anonymous

Humor – November 1997 – Colorado Central Magazine

Monitor: Keep an eye on the wood stove.

Download: Getting the firewood off the pickup.

Mega Hertz: When you’re not careful downloading (watch the toes).

Floppy Disk: What you get from lifting too much firewood.

Disk Operating System: The equipment the Doc uses when you have a floppy disk.

RAM: The hydraulic thing that makes the woodsplitter work.

Log On: Makin’ the wood stove hotter. Off: Don’t add any more wood.

Hard Drive: Getting home in mud season.

Prompt: What you wish the mail was in mud season.

Windows: What you shut when it’s 30 below.

Screen: What you need for black fly season.

Byte: What black flies do.

Chip: What to munch on.

Microchip: What’s left in the bag when the chips are gone.

Infrared: Where the leftovers go when Fred’s around.

Modem: What you did to the hay fields.

Dot Matrix: John Matrix’s wife.

Printer: Someone who can’t write in cursive.

Lap Top: Where the kids feel comfy.

Keyboard: Where you hang your keys.

Software: Them plastic eating utensils.

486: One of them fancy imported cars.

Mouse: What eats the horses’ grain in the barn.

Main Frame: The part of the barn that holds up the roof.

Port: Fancy wine.

Enter: C’mon in!

CD ROM: The place in the bank where they sell retirement accounts.

Random Access Memory: When you can’t remember how much that new rifle (dress) costs when your wife (husband) asks.

Digital: Like those numbers that flip on your alarm clock.

Apple: If you don’t know what an apple is, I ain’t tellin’.

Program: What’s on the TV when there’s reception.

Several people emailed this to us, urging us to publish it. As best we know, it is wandering anonymously in cyberspace so we can’t tell you anything about the author.

If anyone admits to it, we’ll let you know.