The real reason for those bloodless carcasses

Letter from William “buck” Winters

Saguache mosquitos – April 1997 – Colorado Central Magazine

Dear Editor:

I’m hurt. I’m really, truly hurt. Here I’ve been working tirelessly all these years to improve the general size and health of Saguache County mosquitoes as part of my clandestine anti-growth, anti-tourist effort — and now folks are wanting to shoot ’em!

I’ve been working on this project for decades. You can track the success of my efforts by correlating Baca Grande boom-and-bust cycles with wet/dry summers. I’ve even targeted National Guard flyovers — my new MegaSkeeters are so big, I’ve had to put lights on ’em to warn nearby aircraft.

I’m thinking this may account for some of the strange nighttime sightings some folks around here report, but don’t tell Chris O’Brien. I hear he’s got his own theories about those bloodless carcasses sometimes found in these parts.

I located my breeding project over here against the Sangres because locals here don’t allow shootin’. It would break my heart if one of my giant bull sheeters got plugged by a trigger-happy cowboy — and if the victim was a doe, the thought of those millions of lost offspring would be enough to make me bawl for a week.

I’ll put the word out, though — now that scientists have successfully cloned a sheep, I would be willing to share some of my SuperSkeeter germplasm — for a small fee, of course. You can reach me here at Deer Abbey, Lonesome Gulch, by dropping me a line c/o General Delivery, Crestone CO 81131.


William “Buck” Winters