With the Swarm

Column by George Sibley

Modern Life – November 2008 – Colorado Central Magazine

OF ALL THE GREAT INDULGENCES of the 20th century, “Books on CDs” is one of my favorites — combined with that greatest of all indulgences, the automobile at its current exalted, and possibly terminal, state of development. The combination makes the Interstate 80 limboid across the Great Plains literarily disappear.

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What I’ll say when I’m president

Essay by Jim Stiles

Modern Life – November 2008 – Colorado Central Magazine

Jimmy Carter once opened an address to the nation with these words: “Tonight, I have some unpleasant news for you.” His chances of re-election vanished soon after. And so, I dedicate my acceptance speech as your new president to Jimmy Carter, the 39th president of the United States and the last honest politician:

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Camping at Wal-Mart

Article by Jennifer Dempsey

Modern Life – August 2008 – Colorado Central Magazine

IN 1962, when Sam Walton opened the first Wal-Mart store in Rogers, Arkansas, he vowed that the discount store would strive to meet the changing needs of American communities.

Wal-Mart’s mission statement says, “As we grow, we want to ensure that we do so in a way that aligns with the needs of our customers and communities.”

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Family values and great divides

Essay by Ed Quillen

Modern Life – July 2008 – Colorado Central Magazine

FIRST, A BREAK from momentous issues of local, regional, national, international, and galactic import, and instead some family values. At 1:30 p.m. on June 6, Martha and I became grandparents. Our daughter Abby and her husband, Aaron Thomas (who worked at the weekly Chaffee County Times in Buena Vista in 2001-02), are parents of Ezra Quillen Thomas, who was 22 inches long and weighed an even nine pounds on arrival. Mother and child are doing fine.

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Escaping from software

Letter from Slim Wolfe

Modern Life – June 2008 – Colorado Central Magazine

Editors:

Correspondent Ríos from Denver, who instructed us on the function of accents in written Spanish, is refreshingly unique in that there’s no reference to the latest software to which gringos might retreat. As for the rest of you, well, arggh. Think of all those overworked and underpaid civil servants who stretched and massaged our brain muscles — and the brains of our kids — until we knew by heart the difference between insight and incite. All these tax dollars are just money down the drain, all these muscles now atrophied, all you loonies want to do anymore is debate the merits of programs.

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Life is punny sometimes, but setting goats can help

Column by John Mattingly

Modern Life – April 2008 – Colorado Central Magazine

A recent ad in a Boulder paper read:

SALES STAFF NEEDED FOR NEW GREEN COMPANY

Must be self-starter, highly motivated, and goat-oriented.

Because I husbanded a good number of goats in the past, and because I take a Horny Goat Weed pill on occasion to charge my batteries, I suspected I might be among a small group of fully qualified people for the position.

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Caucuses, computers, and the insult of “would of”

Essay by Ed Quillen

Modern Life – March 2008 – Colorado Central Magazine

MARTHA AND I attended the Democratic caucus for Precinct Two in Chaffee County on the evening of Feb. 5 — despite the cold, and ice, and dark of night.

I had problems with Hillary Clinton, starting with her resounding failure on health care back in 1993. I had been torn between John Edwards and Barack Obama, but after Edwards dropped out, I went to support Obama, as did Martha. We walked to the caucus in the bitter cold, joking that it was too bad that one of us wasn’t supporting Clinton, because then our votes would have canceled each other out and we could have stayed home by the fire.

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New Year’s Disillusions

Column by John Mattingly

Modern Life – February 2008 – Colorado Central Magazine

Resolutions gave way this year to a list of things that crossed my path in 2007 that fall into the category of, “I just don’t get it.” I admit my incomprehension of the items on this list is irrational, indefensible, and in some cases outrageous, and my only rebuttal is that I’m a farmer, notwithstanding his field.

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America, America: Who are we?

Essay by Martha Quillen

Modern Life – December 2007 – Colorado Central Magazine

IT SEEMS LIKE only a short time ago President Clinton was talking about that metaphorical bridge into the 21st century. Yet 2008 is right around the bend, and it’s been more than a decade since Clinton said, “At this last presidential inauguration of the 20th century, let us lift our eyes toward the challenges that await us in the next century….”

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Answers to questions raised last month

Letter from Ray Schoch

Modern Life – November 2007 – Colorado Central Magazine

Martha:

You’ve included a couple of questions in “Survival of the Fittest” (a depressingly apropos title for this month’s “Letter from the Editors”) that I want to briefly address.

First, on page 28, you asked, “But do conservatives really want to eliminate public service agencies like the FDA, CDC, and FEMA?”

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The feds and I go fishin’

Letter from Roger Fenton

Modern Life – October 2007 – Colorado Central Magazine

Editors:

The other day I set out on a simple task: Obtain a Colorado state fishing license. In my little town, the grocery store performs that public service. The clerk ran my driver’s license, first issued to me in 1960, through a machine, and I reached for my wallet to fork over $26. But then she turned to me and asked, “What’s your Social Security Number?” Being the nice guy that I am, plus the fact that in a small town we all know each other, I easily deflected my first impulse to reply “None of your damn business.” Instead, I suggested entering my driver’s license number in its place. I really did not think we needed to involve the Federal Government in my effort to hook a brookie. No good. No SSN, no license.

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Thinking too much

Column by George Sibley

Modern Life – September 2007 – Colorado Central Magazine

COLORADO CENTRAL’s most dedicated and critical reader, Slim Wolfe, complained last month about my insufficient respect for the Europeans, so he will probably love this one which is critical of the French.

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Not far enough from the madding crowds

Essay by Martha Quillen

Modern Life – August 2007 – Colorado Central Magazine

PEOPLE ARE MAD, and they don’t want to take it any more. So they’re fighting in Afghanistan, Iraq and Darfur; saber-rattling in Iran, Korea and Pakistan; marching against Hugo Chavez in Venezuela; demanding justice in Indonesia; taking back the West Bank; and arguing about religion world-wide.

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A heritage of fear

Letter from Slim Wolfe

Modern Life – July 2007 – Colorado Central Magazine

Editors:

We read that George Sibley is concerned about the next generation which won’t have a legacy of a free higher education to help it cope with an increasingly complex world. Meanwhile Hal Walter worries that his son’s legacy will be a poisoned environment, and John Mattingly is philosophical that his son doesn’t want to inherit a crop circle but prefers just to make money….

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Life after shopping II

Column by George Sibley

Modern Life – April 2007 – Colorado Central Magazine

IS THE FUTURE going to be any fun? Exploring that question last month, I basically ran out of space thinking about what viable alternatives there are for a consumer culture whose “lifestyles” are primarily based on the profligate consumption of finite resources.

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Looking for a new American Dream

Essay by Martha Quillen

Modern Life – March 2007 – Colorado Central Magazine

“Oh, we’ve got trouble…. Right here in River City.”

It was 1962, and Robert Preston filled the big screen, strutting down Main Street, leading a parade of enthusiastic small-town folk, who were convinced that they had trouble. “Oh yes, we’ve got trouble….”

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Carry your weight

Letter from Slim Wolfe

Modern Life – March 2007 – Colorado Central Magazine

Editors:

The United States may be one of the only industrialized nations not to provide all citizens with health care, but here in the supposedly backward San Luis Valley the common peasants have put together their own single-payer-plan: You simply set out collection jars with a notice and a photo of your needy friend or relation and hope your neighbors will put in a few spare singles.

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Hell in a Handbasket

Letter from Slim Wolfe

Modern Life – February 2007 – Colorado Central Magazine

Editors:

I imagine most readers would subscribe to your suggestion to shop locally; we only wish local merchants would give us more encouragement. A drive to Cañon City can save the consumer 30% on a certain jar of Colorado salsa and more than 50% on a pressure-tank for one’s home water system, compared to Salida retail stores. Who among us would not spend two hours behind the wheel to save more than $130?

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From Westmore to LA, from Parole Board to porn

Brief by Central Staff

Modern Life – February 2007 – Colorado Central Magazine

A former Wetmore family was featured in the Dec. 31, 2006, edition of the New York Times, although their old hometown was vaguely described as “a small town in Colorado,” and the mother, Debbie Schwarz, was identified only by her stage name of De’Bella.

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Another Aspen from Dodge

Brief by Allen Best

Modern Life – November 2006 – Colorado Central Magazine

In the 1970s, Dodge manufactured a car called the Aspen that was designed to be more fuel-efficient. In the wake of the oil embargo of 1973, consumers cared about such things. Whether the car was all that economical is another matter. It didn’t survive long. Now, with gas prices high again, this time backed by growing concerns about green-house emissions, consumers are again concerned about fuel efficiency. And Dodge, is once again issuing a vehicle called the Aspen, this time an eight-passenger SUV.

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Boarding for Mars?

Brief by Central Staff

Modern Life – January 2006 – Colorado Central Magazine

If you drive south from Salida and take state Highway 17, you’ll definitely encounter a UFO observation site. And there are some who say you might encounter a UFO, too.

And if you keep driving south, soon you might encounter a take-off site — not for UFOs, but for space-bound tourists.

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Camping out at home

Essay by Alan Kesselheim

Modern Life – January 2006 – Colorado Central Magazine

THE FIRST HEATING BILL I got was for October, and it jumped from summer levels right up to what I was paying mid-winter last year. Mind you, I didn’t even light the furnace pilot light until Oct.10, and because the weather was nice, it only kicked in the thermostat on a handful of days, less than six, I’d say.

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