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Protesting everything

Letter from Fabien Farkel, Jr.

Politics – March 2007 – Colorado Central Magazine

To the Central:

I cannot mention the “name” of the person responsible for what I am about to tell you. But he “has been” known to spit-shine Hugo Chavez’s combat-booties with his shouts. This low-down, scrawny varmint was sewing blank bedsheets together for Salida’s scenic Riverside Park. He and other foaming mad Trotskyites were going to spread their lily-white mega-sheet over the park’s hallowed soil, import 150 homeless folk from Denver, and have all of ’em get jay-bird naked while the pious disciples of pure Presleyterianism poureth gallons of sacred Mazola oil over their birthday suits! Yea, verily, boys and girls, a Squirm-in.

Clothed folks queried, “What’s your beef?”

All 150 Squirmers replied, “Everything. We’re protesting all problems, everywhere.” Most of the righteous Squirmers got a tad frostbit, but as they were hauled off they continued to praise both Elvis and Lisa Marie. These poor pilgrims were misled by a Lean Lobo in sheepskin fringe.

Pseudonymously Yorn,

Fabien Farkel, Jr.

Note from the editors: We apologize for failing to recreate the dialect used in this epistle, but our software made the various diacritic marks used to indicate pronunciation too complicated and time-consuming to reproduce.