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Here’s the latest from the Valley Rumor Mill

Letter from Slim Wolfe

Local Gossip – November 1999 – Colorado Central Magazine

Editors,

Summer reports of a bear incident at Valley View Hot Springs were about four miles misplaced. Informed sources hinted that the human contestant was a known bow hunter and speculated that he might have been goading the critter to stand on its hind legs and reveal some tender belly.

The UFO sighting in the same vicinity was tentatively identified as a newfangled Outward Bound tent. Appropriately, these occurrences were in the neighborhood of Mirage Road.

Meanwhile, DOW field agents denied reports that they were using syringe guns to subdue some of the excess population of crystal-dealers and body therapists in and around Crestone for relocation to California and other areas. “Our weapons can’t pierce their Subarus,” said one.

Finally, efforts to block new hydroelectric schemes at Valley View Hot Springs as deleterious to the Colorado Salmon run were dismissed by Judge Galen Ludwig as “premature.”

Slim Wolfe

Villa Grove